Tips for surviving winter

Sometimes I need some time on my own, sometimes I need some time all alone

Well the vibes sure have changed since last month (melting face emoji). Usually, I am a defender of November, a slow-down month when I can begin leaning fully into my hygge sensibilities before the speed-up of the holidays. But I cannot deny the figurative dark cloud looming over the literal gray skies of this particular election-year November. It’s hard to feel optimistic for the future; instead, there’s more of a hunker down/batten the hatches/prepare for impending doom miasma lurking at the start of the next calendar year. After distancing himself from the ultra conservative and wildly unpopular Project 2025 during his campaign, Donald Trump has done a reversal and now says he will nominate several people associated with the controversial playbook to his administration. Say you can’t sleep? Baby I know, that’s that me depresso.

I keep mentally returning to Bears Ears. Earlier this year during our Utah road trip, Kurt and I traveled through the Bears Ears National Monument, a designation granted in 2016 to 1.9 million acres of ancestral land shared by five Native tribes: the Hopi Tribe, Navajo Nation, Ute Mountain Ute Tribe, Pueblo of Zuni, and Ute Indian Tribe. Less than a year after President Obama’s designation by executive order, President Trump, a climate change denier, signed an executive order that shrank the Monument by 85% in order to expand fossil fuel drilling and cattle grazing. In 2021, President Biden restored the National Monument to its 2016 size. 

a sign at the entrance of Bears Ears National Monument

The Creek Pasture campsite in Bears Ears where Kurt and I spent two nights was one of the most scenic spots of our trip. Our site’s backdrop was the Wingate Sandstone Cliffs, a spot beloved by rock climbers. On our drive in, we passed the 2,000-year-old petroglyphs of Newspaper Rock and the jutting rock formations of North and South Six Shooter Peaks, named for their resemblance to gunslingers pointing their firearms to the sky while pacing off for a duel. In the mornings, I drank instant coffee sitting outside the van under cottonwood trees and a bluebird sky. We lived in a hiker’s paradise for those two days. I felt very much like a grateful visitor to a place that has held deep meaning for generations of Native people.

I don’t have high hopes that President Biden’s most recent restoration will hold up through another Trump presidency. The fight over Bears Ears is just one example of how boundaries can be changed, maps redrawn. But the natural world existed long before humans came around to muck everything up, and it will continue to shift and evolve around us and long after us. What is time for a geological landscape that was carved out hundreds of thousands of years ago? We’re just a blip in the universe.

North and South Six Shooter Peaks in Bears Ears National Monument

I don’t regret allowing myself to have hope before the election for a better future. What I can do, however, is focus on the things I have control over. I’m creating a protective cocoon around myself and focusing on supporting my local community and protecting my sanity. This time around I also know not to post a bunch of resistance-themed Harry Potter memes that won’t age well.

As the days get shorter and the nights colder, here are some simple ways I turn my house into a haven of snuggly November coziness. We’ll all need our energy in January.

Add some warm lighting 

This one is clutch, the MVP of Hygge. Now that the sun sets by 4:30pm, bringing in more light counter balances the darkness looming from the windows. In my home office, I strung a frame of fairy lights around my desk. (Is it serving Bella Swan and Edward Cullen’s wedding? Maybe a bit! Listen man I’m just doing what works!) I also have a Himalayan salt lamp turned on while I work, which is supposed to be a mood booster, and in the sense that it makes my office feel 2% more like a day at King Spa, it helps!

And perhaps my personal favorite is my fox lamp. Nearly eight years ago we stayed in an Airbnb when we visited Iceland in February, and an origami fox lamp sat in the upstairs hallway, creating a soft glow while the frigid Arctic winds raged outside. I loved that lamp so much I looked for it online when we got back home; it was worth the international shipping cost.

I also love my velvet horse painting from a thrift store in Waupaca, WI

Pile on the cozy blankets

We have accumulated a collection of blankets over the years and I’m so excited when I get to bring them out of the closet in November. Currently, I sleep beneath a Southwestern striped mid-weight blanket that we bought in an outdoor market in Santa Fe, New Mexico. We layered it over our sleeping bags during a surprise springtime snowfall while camping in the Sandia Mountains. I like to imagine that those memories get interwoven into the fibers, so I can drift to sleep every night like I’m back in a campervan at 8,000 feet, my hair smelling like campfire while snowflakes drifted past the van windows.  

Try an electric fireplace

Kurt and I have been a couple since 2005, and one of the best things about growing old together is that we now pretty much just tell each other what we want for birthdays and Christmas. A few years ago, I requested an electric fireplace for our TV room, and we have it turned on all winter long. I love the flicker of LED flames in the corner of the room while we watch movies under piles of blankets. Our cat Esteban loves sitting with his face against the door, his back to us like he’s waiting for the Blair Witch to kill him. 

Candles

On a cold, dark day, put a candle in your window. Watch that golden light dance on the frosty pane. Boom, you’re now Kirsten Larsen the American Girl doll in a St. Lucia dress.

Throw a fondue party

I am less into large parties these days, the mingling and small talk that can feel like a networking event, and more into intimate get-togethers where all of the guests can fit around the same table, sharing one rollicking conversation that involves everyone. And there’s no greater way to bring people together than around a pot of melted cheese with chunks of bread to dip in it. Reading Bridget Jones’ Diary in my teens led me to think that adulthood would be full of a lot more dinner parties. Why aren’t we doing this more often?? Invite me over, I’ll bring wine and my absolutely cutthroat Charades skills. 

FONDUE.

I have so many more: doorstopper-sized fantasy novels (I just started The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon), snowy hikes, drinking homemade glögg with our collection of Christkindlmarket mugs. What are your comforting winter traditions? Tell me in the comments! And hang in there—nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain.

Random Recommendations

• Calling all romcom fans! If you read the Bridget Jones mention up above and thought “I understood that reference!”, check out my talented friend

  Adrienne Gunn
  ’s debut novel Fan Favorite coming out next summer! You can preorder it wherever you get your books.

• If you’re seeking a cathartic cry in a movie theater, I highly recommend the animated film The Wild Robot. With themes of found family, searching for identity, and the resilience of nature, and an elegant brushstroke style that approaches the beauty of Studio Ghibli, this is one of my favorite movies of the year.

• I say this all the time but the series finale of the FX series You’re the Worst is one of my top five favorite finales of all time. Please let them make a movie!

• I made the move from X (RIP Twitter) over to Bluesky. As a former Tweep (I know) who worked out of the Twitter Chicago office, I held onto the platform I once loved until the bitter end, but it was finally time to move on. If you’re on Bluesky, connect with me!