Mermaids, Manatees, & Mold-a-Ramas

A long weekend in the Sunshine State

Years ago, during my first week at a new job, I had to answer a list of “getting to know you” questions during a weekly team meeting. One of the questions was “If you could kick one state out of the country, which would you choose?” I responded with Florida, which turned out to be a popular answer. It was 2014, a year after the dawn of the Florida Man meme, and hating on the Sunshine State had become a viral thing. If America was a drunk streaker, Florida would be the flaccid dangling member. Florida’s nature is visually beautiful, and its humanity, deeply messy. Florida is a Harmony Korine movie.

Since then, I’ve done a full 180 on Florida; I have a fondness and fascination for the state and its unique culture. Florida is a land of contradictions: tacky tourist traps and stunningly gorgeous swathes of wilderness. It’s the epitome of capitalism and primeval in its wild swamplands filled with the relatives of dinosaurs. Florida’s political landscape continues to grow increasingly regres…